Faith is trust

This past week got really busy. My weekend was full of "extra" school activities - they are important, but also take up a lot of time!

On Monday we were all freezing in class. After class I went outside and it was overcast and felt so nice (even though it was still like 98 degrees). I sat in a lawn chair for about 30 minutes just enjoying the warmth.

Then on Thursday I had a special assignment. I had to be in a wheelchair for 24 hours. That was definitely an eye-opening experience. I went into it knowing that it would be hard and that I would have to adjust some things, but until you're in the chair you don't realize how little functional abilities you have. And my apartment is NOT suited for a wheelchair in any way. My room is upstairs and I couldn't get into my closet, the bathroom, or our pantry. My kitchen is also tiny and narrow. Basically it sucked, but I learned a lot. I also had to go out into the community and so I took my roommate and she acted as my "aide" and we went to the movies. People really do look at you and treat you differently. I was really grateful to turn in my wheelchair on Friday morning and have the liberty to walk around normally. It hit me though that that is not normal for a lot of people.

It also rained on Thursday. So that was a happy.

Literally no room upstairs for this chair.

My roommate kept taking pictures of me. I got into my room and didn't even know what to do with myself.

At the movies.

On Friday afternoon I went to the ArizOTA conference, which is a conference for OT's in Arizona to go to if they want to register and hear presentations about occupational therapy-related issues. I got to listen to a couple of speakers and it was cool to be surrounded by OT practitioners.

On Saturday morning I participated with 11 of my classmates in the Walk for Homeless Families at the Phoenix Zoo. That was a fun activity and it helped me to get to know some of the other students in my group a little better.

I went to Costco with the intent of buying one thing, but instead bought like 6. #whatelseisnew

There was also the women's session of General Conference yesterday, so I watched that and it was amazing. Some things that stuck out to me:

• We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sail.
• Embrace improvement in everyone. Encourage and allow others to change.
• There are more ways to feel than with your hands, see than with your eyes, and hear than with your ears.
• FAITH IS TRUST. God sees what I do not and cannot see. In the end, everything will make sense.

General Conference is next weekend. To be honest I'm a little worried about the timing because I have 5 tests and 3 assignments due the week after, but I know that I need the words that will be spoken. I'm always excited to hear General Conference anyway. :)

I had some cool thoughts during Sunday School today at church. We were discussing 3 Nephi 1 in the Book of Mormon and how the believers were not receiving the answers that they thought would come - the sign of the Savior's birth. The nonbelievers gave a deadline and said they would kill the believers if the signs didn't happen by then. Talk about stress.

• When we are waiting for promises to be fulfilled and feel like they aren't being fulfilled and prayers aren't being answered in a timely manner, if we allow it that is when we can feel closest to God because we are humble and seeking that closeness. You can get angry becaus eyou think He isn't listening or doesn't care. Showing faith is having trust in the Lord and means we need to seek that closeness to Him in the times of trial.
• It's interesting that we are so often pushed to our very limits. But it's also interesting that we always get help before it's too late. He doesn't give us more than we can handle.
• I've seen in school that people deal with challenges very differently from one another. Stress affects us differently and it hits us in waves. I do feel that I receive strength when I am weak and when I need it most. God tailors His help to us individually and in the ways that we need. No one is exempt from His blessings if we seek for them.

I just really feel right now that even when things are hard (and it doesn't even have to be a huge trial like a sickness or being homeless), God is aware. Everyone is dealing with hard things, even the ones who look happy all the time. But we need to turn to Him to make it easier. He doesn't force us to be close to Him or to talk to Him. I know that when I humble myself a bit and make that step, I feel better.

Here Am I

Hey, remember how blogs are probably not the thing to do anymore? I don't care. I'm absolutely terrible at writing in a journal. I feel like when I only use Facebook and Instagram to post, some of the feels are missing however, so I'm going to try blogging again! My thoughts are all over the place, but this is more for me than you anyway, so yeah.

So here's my past 2 years in a nutshell.


**EFY

Holy crap. I never thought being an EFY counselor would be something I would be good at. I had a few people tell me before my mission that I should think about it, but I never really gave it serious consideration. A big reason was because I felt I was too shy and that I wouldn't enjoy it. Then after I got back from Australia, my roommate was an old mission companion and she had done it that summer. She said I would love it and should do it. So I applied, got offered contracts, and decided to give it a shot.

LOVED IT.

I was a counselor for two summers. I never got enough sleep, had every kind of teenage personality I could possibly imagine, worked with some awesome co-counselors, used personal experiences to teach the youth, danced A LOT, made great friends, and learned again that forgetting yourself and serving is the way to happiness. I had so much fun and also felt the spirit so strong every single week. I had sessions in Utah, Nauvoo, Minnesota, and Florida.

I learned a lot about myself through the experiences. I became more comfortable with myself and was able to relate to many kids because of the experiences I've had in my life. It doesn't get much better than that.

So many selfies and awkward family photos and cool places I got to see. Plus incredible people. Thank you to every single person who was a part of my EFY experience over the 16 weeks. 

**SPRINGVILLE

I lived here for about 9 months. I had many challenges while I was here - it wasn't what I wanted socially, I didn't get into graduate school the first time I applied, finances were tight, etc. I did have awesome roommates and we became the 3 musketeers. Fun trips and great memories.

**SALT LAKE

I alsolived Salt Lake for about 9 months and that was a great experience for me. I instantly made great friends who became family to me. So many great adventures with amazing people.

**FAMILY WEDDING

This was just so happy!!!

**GRAD SCHOOL

Now I'm living in Arizona and just started my grad program! 3 weeks done and many more to go haha. It's definitely been an adjustment being back in school and not being able to spend all of my time adventuring. I spend lots of time sitting and studying. Bleh. But I'm so happy to be moving forward with what I want to do as a career. I haven't really done much here as far as exploring, but that's partly because of school and partly because it's freakin' hot outside. When it cools down a bit...I'll be all about that! I did go to Mexico right before class started, and that was a blast.

If anyone reads all of this, props to you.

I feel like social media gives people anxiety because it seems that everyone else's life is so great and perfect because of the things they post, and then your own life is lacking. I like to have an optimistic attitude about life and find joy in the journey and post about the fun things I do and/or accomplish, but life is DANG HARD. There are so many disappointments and hard things.

But la vita e' bella. Life is real and we have to deal with it. I have found things that help me to feel better in my life. A lot of that has to do with my religion and my relationship with God. Sometimes it means I go on a hike and look at how beautiful the earth is. Other times it means get the heck away from me because all I want is to watch TV and drink a soda by myself. FIND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND HEALTHY.